Karin Wildheart

Which one are you in?

Each of us is in a relationship with our highest hopes and biggest dreams — healing from trauma, a successful business, a loving partner and kids, traveling the world — you name it. This relationship can be close or distant, and it evolves over time in ways we may not see coming. Living your dream life is possible for you, no matter where you’re starting from!

Here are the six stages of living your dream life:

Stage 1

You don’t even realize you have a dream. You’re very attuned to present tangible realities. If someone asks you about your dream, you say you don’t have one.

You legitimately see other people, the economy, society at large, and other such “realities” outside of yourself as reasons you cannot have what you desire, at least not in the way you want it. You probably identify with these memes (part 1) and these memes (part 2) so deeply that you don’t even find them funny.

Stage 2

Every so often you get a sense of what you really want, but it’s just a brief flash before it’s drowned out by doubt, so it’s hard to get a clear picture of it. You still might think you don’t have a dream in this stage, but you at least believe you have one in there somewhere, and are willing to believe it could mean something.

You’re beginning to sense that you’ll need to stop identifying as a victim to move forward toward getting the life you want. A part of you is open and on-board for that, but you’re not necessarily fully ready, and that’s okay!

Stage 3

You know what your dream is, but it feels really bold, audacious, or maybe even cringe. You rarely talk about it because it feels embarrassing or extra. You don’t want to feel public humiliation if you fail, which seems likely. It even feels vulnerable to just say what you want. You may stress about what others would think of you if you were honest about your big vision.

If someone asked you about your dream, you might answer them if you trust them, otherwise you wouldn’t. You may also have a “safe” dream at this stage: something you think you want because you’ve already (unconsciously) convinced yourself you can’t actually have the thing you want the most.

Stage 4

You know your dream, you’ve realized that talking about it makes it more likely, and you’re no longer afraid of the risk of doing so. You’re wise about who you share details with but very open to discussing it generally.

You don’t know “how” it will happen, but you’re starting to believe you can figure it out. You’re starting to notice sparkle and possibility in life where you didn’t before, even if it’s just brief moments.

Stage 5

You truly believe your dream is inevitable and you’re totally committed to doing whatever it takes, however long it takes. You’re no longer tempted by alternative paths.

You’ve realized that “how” is just a concept and you no longer see “not knowing how” as a barrier nor use it as an excuse. You might have days of doubt, but you always get back up and keep going because you know it’s going to happen as long as you don’t give up on it. Others’ opinions are of no interest to you, as you no longer expect everyone else to “get it.”

Stage 6

You’re living your dream. You’re human, so you still have areas of life you want to develop, but what once seemed far away or even impossible is now a literal, tangible reality and others finally see it too. You are either having “Pinch me is this my life?!” moments or have so normalized this reality that you kind of take it for granted and rarely if ever think about how wild and crazy it once seemed.

You are somewhere on this path. You have a dream. You may not know it, and that is perfectly fine. But you are in one of these stages. And if you decide you want to make your dreams a reality, to reach stage 6, you absolutely have the power to make that happen.

Each and every one of us are meant to live out our dreams. Not just some, everyone. You are meant to live your dreams, to create them. That’s why we have dreams in the first place. We don’t come up with them ourselves, but instead discover, realize, remember or accept them. Your dream is the end destination that your intuition (GPS of your soul) is guiding you toward. These dreams are all unique, so what seems like a big deal to one person might be nothing to another.

I believe we naturally rise and expand unless we allow ourselves to be weighed down. Let go of the heavy things you’re holding (negative commentary, excuses, reasons it’s not meant for you, focus on what’s not working, shitty beliefs about yourself, projections of other people’s opinions). Be amazed at how you don’t have to (and how actually, you can’t) hustle + grind your way into a life that feels light.

What state of living your dream life are you in?

You might be wondering what takes a person from one stage to the next. Two things: beliefs and nervous system capacity. Simplified: mind and body.

Mind and body together determine “where you’re at.” You can never go faster than the slowest part of you is ready to go. If you truly believe in your dreams but your success never seems to stick, your body is probably used to hustling. This means you’ll automatically and subconsciously reject ease + receiving, even if you consciously want them in your life.

When you let fear of what other people would think enough affects your choices, it’s often because your body physically panics at the idea of someone scoffing at you or disliking you.

You can calmly explain to yourself that it doesn’t matter what others think because it’s your life, but if that doesn’t actually change your actions, it’s probably because at some point you opened your heart to someone and felt rejection in return. Imagine a little child sharing what she wants to do when she grows up and being met with skepticism, disdain, or even the well-meaning advice to “be more realistic because that’s not possible.” The body remembers the fear of being judged and misunderstood. For children, this translates to possibly isolated and at risk of death, and freezes up. This is a case where the mind is more advanced than the body.

Perhaps you’re good at making yourself “go through the motions” you think you have to do, all while convinced it’s not going to work anyway. Guess what? When your mind’s not on board like this, it usually doesn’t work. When it doesn’t, your mind (the slower part, in this case) eagerly seizes on this “new evidence” that it’s not possible, and the divide actually gets worse.

My 1:1 coaching guides you to sync up your mind and body so that upleveling through the 6 stages feels natural and much more effortless.

I don’t promise overnight results, but you’ll inevitably create healing + growth once you’re tapped in to your big vision and intuition and choose to follow them no matter what. Turns out all those inspiration movies were right: the answers are all inside of you already. It’s just a matter of noticing and honoring, and releasing everything that isn’t you.

What stage are you in with your big dream(s)? I can get the best results for folks anywhere in stages 2–4. If this is you, I would love to start a no-pressure conversation with you about what support you may need and whether we would be a fit for 1:1 work. Feel free to comment or email me at (karin [at] karinwildheart [dot] com). My favorite way to help is my 12-week program Rest Easy. Learn a lot more about Rest Easy in my Rest Easy Instagram Story highlight.