Karin Wildheart

Imagine if when you were a child, no one had ever taught you to bathe or shower. Perhaps it was something you did every once in a while, when someone else suggested it. You weren’t opposed to it per se, it just wasn’t a priority or something you saw modeled at home.

Sometimes you’d go swimming. Rain would sometimes do its thing. But mostly? Cleaning your body wouldn’t be part of your awareness, your way of thinking, your plans or expectations. It would never have a place on your schedule.

There’s no question this would cause issues. Physical, bodily issues that might result in discomfort or rashes. Social issues, as the smell would likely make it harder to connect, a distraction or outright deterrent to others. Perhaps you can see where I’m going with this.

The reality is that many or most of us were never taught or modeled emotional/energetic hygiene and we go through life assuming (if we even think of it) that it must not be necessary or important, or it should just take care of itself. Unfortunately this isn’t always the case. Sometimes we carry around old hurts from the past for years; mourn or grieve lost connections indefinitely; worry, wonder, imagine judgment from, or otherwise stress about others even at the expense of our own pursuits.

What do I mean by emotional/energetic hygiene? I mean practices that involve intentionally releasing the residue/“gunk”/buildup of our own emotions or things we’ve taken on from others. These aren’t quite the same thing, but there’s enough overlap that I find my energetic hygiene practices have a cleansing effect on my emotions, which is why I lump them together for this article.

Okay, feeling gross now if you haven’t done this in a while (or ever)? I got you. I’m here to share a few practices that have been invaluable to me, and I mean that. Truly — astoundingly effective. Remembering to do them at all poses the first challenge (often at the moment they’re most needed we can be a bit… distracted) but the real foundation of their effectiveness is remembering it’s necessary and possible to tend to yourself in this way, that you’re worth the effort. Obviously it probably won’t help to begrudgingly go through the motions. That’s not how it works.

Physically brushing off your body with your hands 

My favorite: Physically brushing off your body with your hands. As needed, I might pair this with speaking out “Nope” or “Not for me.”

How to: Exactly what it sounds like. I start with my forehead and face and use my hands to sweep over my skin in downward strikes like I’m covered in something that would brush off with light pressure (like sand) and I’m removing it. I do this more or less head to toe.

When to use it: Anytime I notice a sudden shift to feeling worse. A great example is when I come across something on social media that plants a stressful thought in my head and gets me starting to worry or feel worse about myself. I even made a little video about this once — in reaction to an advertisement suggesting I could never be successful in business using part of my marketing approach. Another example: reading any text or message that didn’t feel good to receive.

I also do this with things people say — I don’t recommend doing it in front of them (unless maybe you’re at a table and you can discreetly brush off your thighs). If someone says something to me that feels unpleasant or untrue, and especially if it involves them saying “you” as in, “You’ll be miserable if you wear those shoes.” (This is a real life example. I wore them. I was not miserable.) Just brush it off! I’m always amazed how much cleaner and better I feel after I do this.

Brushing it off doesn’t mean I never deal with what bothered me — I actually find it’s easier to handle whatever unpleasant thing when it’s not actively pulling me down.

Shake it off

Another option to release energy you don’t want to linger in your body is to Shake it off. This ubiquitous advice sometimes feels misguided (I have never liked being told to shake something off), but done intentionally, when you’re ready, it really works! Taylor Swift had it right.

How to: Shake our your arms, legs, whatever else you want with the intention of getting rid of that energy (intention matters a lot!) Feel free to pair this with uplifting music with a great beat.

When to use it: Similar to when you’d brush something off, but at times you might feel more energized or physically agitated or have more energy to move through.

This can pass trauma through you physically so it doesn’t settle in with you. Animals physically shake or tremble after (or during) stressful experiences like being chased by a predator, or in the case of a Swedish dog I saw, riding a public bus. This is how animals get back to equilibrium after stress, and the fact that we humans don’t have (or don’t allow) an automatic return to equilibrium is at the root of a lot of our human mental health stuff, imo!

I use this one in situations that feel more intense to me. I have had at least two occasions where someone was berating me (through text or on a phone call) and I just started shaking involuntarily. (Thankfully I was at home both times!) Once when someone physically threatened me, I trembled for quite a while.

Obviously, if you notice you’re already shaking, choosing to purposely continue this form of release (rather than make yourself stop) can be a great way to pass big energy through so it doesn’t get repressed or stuck in your system.

Cord-Cutting

I will generically call this next one Cord-Cutting. I’ve heard several variations of it.

How to do my favorite version: Picture unwanted connections as cords attached to your abdomen (like with suction cups), then take one or both hands and gather all the cords together, then give them a swift tug so they all painlessly pop off. Let them disappear or fall to the earth for compost. You could also just swipe your hand in front of your abdomen instead like you’re slicing through them.

Another version: Imagine a tube-shaped blade of sharp white light dropping down around you and severing the unwanted connections. If you want, you can then imagine the ends of the cords popping out of you all at once, then popping out of the other sides all at once (no need to picture the specifics).

When to use it: Generally I use this when feeling overly connected to other people in a bad way — caring too much about their choices or opinions, thinking about them a lot without really meaning to or wanting to, when you suspect someone’s unhappy with you and likely not sending blessings your way. If someone has gotten under your skin and you’re ready to get rid of that feeling. A teacher I follow has an audience of millions and she mentions doing this often when posting online because she knows from experience how much attention is coming her way and that any negative reactions might affect her negatively if she’s not intentional.

These are just the practices I prefer. There are probably as many of these as there are types of soap, and of course it comes down to what works for you. These ideas are meant as a starting point or a reminder of the importance of taking care of yourself in this way when you’re feeling more dull than shiny. Overall, the main thing is to know your ability to tend to your energy (so many of us were never taught!), and then to do so as needed. Just becoming aware of the moment you got upset, or the causes of your moods, is a huge deal if you’re not used to doing that.

I’d love to hear from you about this! How do you approach energetic/emotional hygiene? Do you do it regularly? Have a ritual? Any practices to add to this list?

As wonderful as these tools are, there’s often deeper work required to create long-term change. Without some outside structure or support, even the most helpful practices sometimes become just another undone to-do item. (Ask me how I know.) I can help you release deeper and longer-term emotional buildup as well. Learn more about how to work with me.