Karin Wildheart

I recently read The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter. I enjoyed it a lot and learned some new things (plus felt smug having things I already knew confirmed).

One of the many takeaways for me was this: Your brain signals muscle fatigue LONG before you have reached your limits. We think of fatigue as a neutral fact, something happening in the muscles, that your brain is simply relaying. Instead, feeling fatigued is primarily an emotion, an adaptation humans have to ensure we don’t accidentally work ourselves to death (which would be a risk if tiring out our muscles felt so good it was hard to stop). The reality is, your muscles are likely capable of far, far more than you will ever ask of them in this lifetime, especially living in the modern world with all its conveniences. And you cannot reliably use how you feel as an indicator of how much you are capable of.

Like I do, I took this a step further and made an analogy that connects this to everything else. ❤️

Our doubts, our perceptions that something isn’t working (like thinking we are not getting closer to a goal despite taking steps in its direction) are not reflective of reality. They’re an emotional response generated by a system that literally only has the capacity to prioritize short-term survival. Your brain is trying desperately at all times to get you to save energy in the short term, regardless of what will lead to long-term happiness and satisfaction. That’s why after a brief time of working on your long-term goals and not seeing immediate results you may experience feelings of disappointment followed by thoughts like “Well, that didn’t work. This isn’t working. Let’s stop working on this and go do something that will work instead.”

Your brain uses chemicals to manipulate your behavior. These brain chemicals create our emotions, and most of us live by our emotions by default. This is what drives human desire for instant gratification: people are drawn to dopamine hits (whatever is fast, easy, and pleasurable). Fast, easy, and pleasurable feel extremely satisfying in the short term. This isn’t a character flaw but a biological reality. Of course we all have the option to pursue long-term goals anyway, but it is not the default setting in our brain/body biology.

This is why video games can feel so much better than putting in time on things you know will bring you long-term success and happiness. Video games give the feeling you’re accomplishing something, or that something is working out, and signal to the brain that therefore we should keep putting our energy into them because it’s a super efficient way to expend minimum energy for maximum “success.”

This is why having the emotional skill/wherewithal to persist in our efforts in that gap between “feels like this isn’t working/feels like nothing is happening/feels impossible/feels like I can’t go on” is the path to uncommon (extraordinary) success.

It’s an emotional skill, not a matter of ability. You’ll need to push past perceived limits while your brain is trying to convince you that these are your actual limits. The “perception” aspect is the emotional aspect. Even if you feel like you’re pushing past your limits, it’s likely you aren’t anywhere near what you’re truly capable of.

Please note that you do not have to just raw dog all your goals! In fact, that wouldn’t even work for most people. When I say pursuing long-term goals requires an emotional skill, I don’t mean that you just force yourself to do things that feel terrible in the name of knowing it’s possible for you. Part of emotional regulation is learning to identify what you need and give it to yourself, because having your needs met is truly the golden ticket to emotional stability.

Remember to reward yourself well for those white-knuckle moments you pushed through. Use your brain’s craving for dopamine in your favor. Purposely link dopamine to activities you want to be doing. Here’s a real-life present-tense example: Today I’m trying a new thing where I rewarded myself for finishing this article draft with getting to read another chapter in the book I’m currently very entertained by. Side bonus: I also enjoyed the chapter a LOT more. I read it more slowly and carefully and deeply and really savored it. Win-win. Surround yourself with supportive people, music, podcasts, reminders, etc. You can read more about this in my article How prioritizing fun makes you *more* productive.

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